A sinister plot
Daragh | April 25, 2006So, it has been going on for some time now… In fact the first time I remember seeing it was while I lived in Christchurch… Not Christchurch, New Zealand, Christchurch, Dublin – home to Burdocks, those bloody bells and the Splash Tour people who cheer at nothing…
Oh, there’s a post for another day… Grr
No, it, the thing I noticed, was missing letters.
Not little letters either, those big letters that stick out from shop fronts and are usually illuminated at night. They look complicated and probably expensive. But they go missing all the time.
The first incident I can recall was that the E’s in “Number One Shop” went missing.
Over the years, I’ve seen letters disappear from various signs, pubs, hotels, chemists, it seems like no one is immune to this weird affliction.
The thing is, it seems like it might be quite a complicated enterprise. I can only imagine it requires teams, well, maybe two people, a step ladder, screwdrivers etc…
Plus they are all in high profile locations.
Who goes out drinking with stepladders and screwdrivers? Vertically challenged electricians I hear you cry.
Do the guards turn a blind eye to this alphabetical criminality? Do they pass a team, or two people, on a ladder and not remark on their activities? I think we need to know…
The one that really caught my eye was the sign you can see from the DART as it rolls into Clontarf. Two letters are missing from the sign on Westwood or Westpoint or Westwhatever… The sign now proudly proclaims 50 MET_ _ POOL
See, that is the most annoying thing for me. There’s no joke involved. They’re not trying to be clever. They aren’t trying to make rude words. They’re just stealing letters at random.
And then, the answer came to in a flash.
And it’s scary.
Somebody, somewhere, or a team of somebodies, or two somebodies and a stepladder are preparing a giant ransom note.
All they need is a big enough piece of paper and an envelope to put it in.
Ah it reminds me of a local pitch and putt club near where I live, the entrance of which is right on a very busy main road. Some very industrious vandals went out one night with some black duct tape and a knife and doctored the sign so that it now reads ‘Bitch and Butt Club’..ahh the memories!
Also, where I live, we don’t have signs warning of Ramps for 20 metres, we have signs warning about Tramps. (Plus the vandals were even bilingual enough to change the Irish translation on the sign so that it reads Trampai!)
Reminds me of mcanus shoes on henry st & Fanni healthcare on lower camden st.
bloody kids!