The Dublin Community Blog

It’s Saturday, and I’m suddenly aware that I must have a massive overdraft on my karma account.  Gods, demons and voodoo magic have conspired to stand me in Brown Thomas, holding bags and a taut smile.

Smiling is making me weary. I check mirrors, worried that my deep concentration on not frowning or appearing frustrated could be contorting my face into all manner of expressions.  I catch a reflection, and I’m looking blank. I’ll settle for that.

Panning around, I take in a half dozen or so other lost souls; men who have become islands.  We stand alone, transfixed in an ocean of bewildering female decadence. There’s no solidarity among men in Brown Thomas, each suffers stoically, stranded in a personal trance of indifference. To band together would be an acknowledgment of where we are. Better to feign invisibility than admit that we are, in fact, in the loathsome shop.  Banding together would also denote some form of solidarity, a statement to wives and girlfriends that our discontent unites us.  Of course, we cannot be seen to harbour any ill-feeling. We’re happy to be here. No, really, take your time, dear. 

 

Brown Thomas or not, shopping on a Saturday is no picnic. Dublin is heaving, people crab their way up Grafton Street, presenting their profile to the madding crowds the better to squeeze through.  Buskers are louder and cheaper. Pickpockets, teenage goths and assorted scumbags all crawl out from dark recesses in their droves. Chuggers ratchet their pitch up a gear. (I notice that Plan Ireland now employ African chuggers in a bid to out-guilt the opposition).

Perhaps I’m a shop-claustrophobe, but a day either side suits me far better. Working on a Sunday means that Friday is my day off. It’s a swap that I’ll gladly make; by working Sundays I have Fridays off when no-one else does. Fridays give you an easy run at the city. Clear streets, empty aisles, and elbow-room in the cafes.  There’s even walkable gaps between the enormous American tourists. 

If you’re reading this looking for advice on where to go in Dublin, best spend a little time thinking about when to go.  Saturday isn’t it.